Notes to self

Silence

 I have a renewed affection for this word. Silence. 

As the year broke, the older me did not reach for journals for the usual resolutions. As much as l love writing, planning and dreaming, this year l just let go.

However here we are eleven days into the year and l have caught myself acting differently. It’s like l have this new attitude to life and l am finally presenting myself in a way l have always desired. 

Silence at last. 

Last year was such a noisy,busy and hectic year. So much was happening simultaneously. I revisited old paths, hoping to take that satisfactory walk they once offered. It didn’t work, those similar curves and views only drained me more. 

I ventured onto new ones, and was thrilled from the taste of something new, something different, something alien. But just like anything new the unknown corners trip me and keep me guessing.

When l was young, l was always so fascinated by those quiet girls. Those capable of going through the day with only nods and grimaces. To this day l always play a game with myself when l meet new people. I always try and act the queit girl who has not much to say to see how long l can keep up the act, but alas l always catch myself being my talkative bubbly self, interrogating the people with unending questions and going on and on about the world. Gosh how annoying l must be.

Anyway finally this year l find myself in the much desired silence. I guess it was not the queit character l yearned for, but inner peace, tranquil and silence.

Nowadays l enjoy nothing more like my company. Am at piece with me myself and l. I am learning to improve myself and work on my dreams behind those closed doors. I am learning to separate myself from the unnecessary noise and drama. Am learning to appreciate those few good friends l have. I am learning to separate myself from toxic environments, because at the end of the day it’s unnecessary 

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